“A ritual of mass liberation”: Self Esteem at Bristol Beacon
There are artists who perform, and there are artists who transform. Self Esteem is one of the most powerful examples of the latter. Oozing with empowerment and liberation, her performance at Bristol Beacon on Saturday night took live music to a new, visceral level.
Saturday night, which marked the second night of the singer’s three shows in Bristol, formed part of Taylor’s A Complicated Woman tour, celebrating her third studio album under the same name. With an album so packed with moving moments and unparalleled strength- it’s unsurprising that Taylor’s performances never fail to unfold into momentous successes. And Saturday’s sold-out show was no exception.
The night opens with a support slot from South African artist Moonchild Sanelly. Relentlessly energetic and further boosted by the singer’s infectiously vivacious character, the set moves from strength to strength, with catchy hits including Tequila and Sweet And Savage.
Second opener Nadine Shah also delivers a striking performance with admirably powerful vocals and an impressively boundless stage presence.
Clad in head-to-toe Puritan-style attire, bonnets, and moving with restrained tension, when Self Esteem and her troupe of vocalists and dancers take to the stage, the cult allegations and the likening of the Rotherham-born artist’s shows to religious rituals comes as no surprise. But as the night saw muzzled spasms and jerks break out into gloriously free movement, and neatly harmonised vocals morph into cries and emotive mantras, it becomes clear that Taylor’s live shows are rituals of a different kind, raising to life a spirit of mass liberation and collective joy.
Album opener I Do and I Don’t Care makes for an arresting start to the set– opening with thunderous drum beats whose intensity even left some audience members visibly shocked. The crowd is instantly drawn into a choral soundscape, immediately showcasing the beautifully thick, harmony-packed sound that characterises Self Esteem’s music. Reminiscent of hit track I Do This All The Time, the opener sees Taylor recite poignant spoken word lyrics, all of which are spoken back by the crowd in unison, a display of the remarkable ways in which the album’s lyrics have touched their listeners. The end of the track is one of the show’s most powerful points, as the room echoes its repeated loudening mantras ‘If I’m so empowered / Why am I such a coward / If I’m so strong / Why am I broken?’.
The theatrical intensity remains high as the troupe launch into Mother, whose witty, honest lyrics protest dependency in relationships atop a thundering, dance-infused track. Its presentation in the live show takes the track to a new level, as Taylor and her crew, all dressed as nuns, show deep commitment to movement and characterisation alongside punchy backing vocals.
Similarly, Lies shows Taylor’s theatrical excellence in full force, featuring choreography that sees Taylor’s band oscillate between free and restrained, before launching into a sexually-charged explosion at its end. Track collaborator and tour opener Nadine Shah is also welcomed to the stage to sing her verse, a surprise appearance that is celebrated ravenously by the audience.
69 is an apt follower- a comedic-yet-serious track which sees Taylor list sexual positions, in a move that she hopes will normalise openness in such settings, filled with messaging encouraging consent, pleasure, and honesty through an electronic lens. The set reaches another peak, as the group perform an explosive dance break at the end of the song, inviting a raucous applause. The three tracks in succession work incredibly well together and make for an opening that is one of the most grabbing introductions to a live set we have seen all year.
Bringing a lighter tone to the set, older hit You Forever is a crowd pleaser, presented in its live form with an on-stage workout routine. Mellower tune, Logic, Bitch! follows, which features soaring vocals from Taylor as well as a skilfully executed trumpet solo from band member Deanna Wilhelm. The addition of expansive backing vocals that swell towards the end of the song take the track to a greater, more visceral level. It’s an emotive moment that allows a chance to breathe before two more of Self Esteem’s most popular hits– Prioritise Pleasure and Fucking Wizardry. The first is introduced by the spoken end of other hit song I’m Fine, whose invitation for the audience to ‘bark like dogs’ has been a highlight at her past shows. Gloriously cacophonous, the crowd’s barks make way for Prioritise Pleasure’s pulsing sound, whose lyrics are packed with much-needed mantras encouraging freedom, pleasure and personal power. With new choreography, its live performance on this tour oozes with more force than ever before.
The focus is brought back to Taylor’s latest album with moving ballad The Curse, a song exploring reliance on coping mechanisms including alcohol. It oozes with power and morphs into a momentous peak as Taylor’s singers chant ‘I wouldn’t do it if it didn’t fucking work’. Breathtaking vocal solos from backing singers Marged Siôn and Sophie Maria Wojna float atop the song’s ending and are an incredible demonstration of the talent possessed by the on-stage group.
In Plain Sight is another highlight of the set– as support act and collaborator Moonchild Sanelly joins Taylor on stage to deliver her masterfully written, touching spoken-word portion of the track. Its marvellous introspection and powerful delivery leave the audience silenced.
Silence is soon brought over the crowd yet again in the next song, What Now. Fully a capella and formed from deliciously layered harmonies, it marks a beautifully tender moment in the set, flaunting the singer’s more vulnerable side. Performed by the group standing in a huddle at the centre of the stage, it feels like an invite into a personal moment which powerfully exhibits the group’s unity and togetherness, as well as their magnificent vocal abilities.
Also touching, The 345 follows, a highlight from Taylor’s I Tour This All The Time shows and an emotive track exploring themes of perseverance and self-worth. The set turns on its heels for Cheers To Me, a synth-pop breakup banger whose ‘TikTok dance’ performance, paired with inflatable tube men and a party atmosphere, gives it an energetic delivery and brings another ounce of fun to the live show.
As the set nears its end, the artist throws in more of what she has become most iconic for- motivational bangers- beginning with If Not Now It’s Soon, a catchy ballad infused with messages on self-belief, certainty, and direction. The Deep Blue Okay is the final track before the encore and is undeniably Taylor’s best song yet. Already moving enough as a recorded song, the track reaches new heights when performed live. It feels simultaneously vulnerable and strong and has an uplifting orchestral sound that never stops growing throughout, reaching a tear-jerkingly enormous peak as Taylor and her singers chant out ‘You know what I might try today / I might fucking try today / try today / try today’.
As the audience remains on a dizzyingly emotional high, Self Esteem soon returns to the stage for two more songs. Arguably her most successful hit, I Do This All The Time is first up in the encore. A few years after its release, it has clearly not lost its velocity, as the crowd sings back every single word, visibly resonating with each and every one of its lines. Newer track Focus Is Power closes the show– an anthemic tune benefitting from gospel-infused sounds and infectious, affirmation-like lyrics.
Even after the last song, the show isn’t over yet. As the troupe conga off stage to Shirley Bassey’s This Is My Life, the crowd is launched into a joy-filled dance party. Looking around the room as it morphs into a dance floor, it becomes impossible not to be moved. What other show brings such an atmosphere of togetherness, community and celebration? It is a testament to Self Esteem and what she has achieved through her music. From the roaring impact of 2021 album Prioritise Pleasure through to her latest work, Self Esteem is proving that live performers can, and should, create spaces that both confront and connect- pouring with unforgettable spirit and infectious liberation.
Photography by Emma Last